But but but…
I can do this, and this, and this and this!
If only they knew everything about you….all of the skills you have.
If they only knew that you loved variety and can bring disparate elements to your work…
Is that what they want?
It’s reassuring to tell yourself that you know your business.
You don’t always agree with everyone but you know how to say no and how to persuade your collaborators.
Sometimes our habits and conditioning are...
It’s true that we tend to repeat behavior sometimes without really thinking about it. It’s worked in the past so we don’t give it much thought. We go through our day doing what has worked for us before.
But what do we do when our habitual behavior isn’t getting the results we want?
Quincy Jones is famous for the phrase: “my self-worth is not dependent upon your approval of me.”
It’s natural to feel unsure of yourself and look for reassurance. We all do it. I’ve come to believe that performers have an abundance of a “look at me, look at me, look at me” gene. It’s unavoidable. It is also natural for you to feel insecure when you are exposing yourself to criticism or judgment. Vulnerability is a huge part of the creative process.
Composers are afflicted with the same tendencies but...
If I only ….!
Sure. If you had everything you think you need everything would be fine.
You’d be able to get the jobs you want.
You’d reach your goals.
You’d find happiness in your life.
Focusing on what you lack actually creates a wall that impedes your forward momentum.
If only … is actually...
When you are in the throes of creative expression it’s impossible to be objective about what you are doing because being organized and being creative are two different states of being. We use different parts of our brain in each. Creative endeavors that resonate with others come from a state of flow, or at the very least are based in an emotion.
We can easily be seduced by how we “feel” about what we are doing...and lose sight of where we are headed.
Accepting the concept of being...
I am going to publish an autobiography later this year. The following is an excerpt:
"Whenever I would write something I would take it with me to Sunday dinner and ask Billy to look it over and give me a critique. Billy quietly looked at my arrangement after dinner. He had the most amazing concentration. He could “read” a score in silence and hear it in his head. After he finished he didn’t say much. Then, unannounced, Johnny Mandel appeared in Billy’s living room...."
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